I am often asked by family members how to “fix” their addicted husband, wife, son, or daughter. Unfortunately, it does not work quite that way. The substance abuser must first realize that he or she has a problem. The mistaken belief is that he or she must “hit bottom”.
One can certainly be helped to see that there is a problem through some counseling, or by a family member using some tough love, that is, no longer “enabling” the addict. Enabling consists of making excuses for him or her, such as calling in sick, taking on more responsibilities, covering up or bailing out the person. Sometimes they must face the consequences of their actions in order to finally “see the light” or have that “moment of clarity”
An intervention can sometimes “raise” the bottom for a substance abuser by making him or her aware of the damage to the family. Very often, the addict does not see what is happening in the world around them; that family members are walking on eggshells. They are going through their own pain and suffering, and must also be a part of the treatment plan. They will need help themselves in order to see the destructive effects on the family as a whole. Fortunately, there is help out there, in the form of self-help groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous and their accompanying groups for families – Alanon, Naranon, Gamanon and for teens.
Check out my website: www.theaddictioncounselor.com for more treatment options, information, and links to other programs.
